Corporate Job DescriptionsCEOLeaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives Policy to God
Project ManagerLeaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if sea is calm
Talks to God
Senior AnalystLeaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special permission is approved
Systems AnalystBarely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
Programmer AnalystMakes high marks on walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Calls swimming "Staying Alive In The Water"
Talks to animals
ProgrammerRuns into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls
Barks at the moon
Project ClerkFalls over doorstep when trying to enter building
Says "look at the choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself
Executive SecretaryLifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
She
is god!
Copyright © 2003-04 Corporate Dump