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Post by ZERO on May 23, 2004 5:14:25 GMT -5
I got a few lame ones:
q. if a boat is travelling north at 15 knots, south at 20 knots, and west at 18 knots, then why is a duck? a. 'cause there ain't no bones in ice cream
q. why did the plane crash? a. the pilot was a loaf of bread.
q. how do you confuse an idiot? a. (part one) why is a duck? a. (part two. wait a few seconds to let it sink in) confused? idiot!
q. why did the boy fall off the bike? a. He had no arms or legs
q. why did the old man fall off the bike? a. someone threw a fridge at him
q. why did Sammy fall off the bike? a. SAMMY'S A FISH, IDIOT!
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ConqueringWolf
Admiral
Merry Meet And Merry Part, Until We Merry Meet Again!
Posts: 5,461
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Post by ConqueringWolf on May 23, 2004 10:07:30 GMT -5
LOL...don't worry Zero..we will get you some help......they have good medication which will make you feel all better
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Post by voyager on May 23, 2004 10:33:08 GMT -5
Prozac works wonders
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Post by valderra on May 24, 2004 17:23:00 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... LOL
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Post by voyager on May 24, 2004 18:08:05 GMT -5
How come theres a low suicide rate in poland?
Cause they have not figured out how to jump out of a basement window
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Post by ZERO on May 25, 2004 2:47:49 GMT -5
How come theres a low suicide rate in poland? Cause they have not figured out how to jump out of a basement window ;D ;D Classic!!! Ouch, CW! Just kidding. I think I do need some help.. these damn trucker's pills are REALLY getting on me...
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ConqueringWolf
Admiral
Merry Meet And Merry Part, Until We Merry Meet Again!
Posts: 5,461
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Post by ConqueringWolf on May 25, 2004 12:12:03 GMT -5
LOL
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Post by voyager on May 26, 2004 6:20:05 GMT -5
the joys of polish jokes. If anyone is offended let me know and I'll stop
how did the polish ice hockey team die?
Spring training
what did the polish skier do when he won a gold medal?
He got it bronzed
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Post by ZERO on May 27, 2004 2:34:13 GMT -5
the joys of polish jokes. If anyone is offended let me know and I'll stop how did the polish ice hockey team die? Spring training what did the polish skier do when he won a gold medal? He got it bronzed You're Polish , aren't you? Nobody from outside could make up such classics!!
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Post by voyager on May 28, 2004 10:25:17 GMT -5
actually no I'm not polish. These are what I have been told and been telling for years
Here is a joke that is kinda long but you will laugh at the end
"Which military has bigger balls"
One day an Army General, a Marine Brigadere General, and a Navy Admiral were sitting around drinking lemonaid discussing which branch has the biggest set of balls on the men.
The army General says "Its well known that the Army has bigger balls" as evidance he yells at an E-1 " Soldier, go run in front of that tank and stand there until the tank stops" "Yes sir" the soldier responds. He runs in front of the tank and promptly get squished by the tank. "Now that takes balls" says the General.
The Marine Brigadier General says "oh thats nothing, watch this" He promplty takes out a grenade pulls the pin and tosses it away and seeing a PFC yells " Private, go jump on that live grenade until it goes off" the private says " Yes sir" and promptly jumps on the grenade and gets blown to bits. " Now that takes major balls" says the Brigadier General.
The Navy Admiral says " Thats all fine and dandy but you wanna see balls watch this" He sees a sailor just standing around doing nothing and yells at him " Sailor go climb to the top of that yardarm on that ship and jump off" The sailor looks at the top of that yard arm and then turns to the Admiral and says " frell YOU SIR" The Admiral looks at his two colleagues and says " Now that is major frelling balls right there", the other two agreed, and all 3 called the sailor over and bought him a beer for being so brave.
I was told that joke by a Marine Gunnery Sergeant(E-7) while we were on deployment in 1995. That was also the same deployment I found out I had made E-4 in the Navy. It still makes me laugh whenever I read it.
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xkamelx
Global Moderator
Check Those Corners
Posts: 11,108
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Post by xkamelx on May 28, 2004 15:38:56 GMT -5
LOL That's a great one Mike, and makes perfect sence too
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ConqueringWolf
Admiral
Merry Meet And Merry Part, Until We Merry Meet Again!
Posts: 5,461
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Post by ConqueringWolf on May 28, 2004 20:17:52 GMT -5
LOL...funny...only thing is....there is a reason why the navy boys are all called SEaMEN...lol ;D
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Post by voyager on May 28, 2004 21:39:29 GMT -5
Actually there is Wolf. It all goes back to the early days of sailing ships.
When the ships were in foreign ports, the first thing they would always do is try to hook up with the local wench's(whore in today's terms). When they were asked what they do for a living, they would say they were seamen, because they lived a majority of their lives on the sea.
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Post by ZERO on May 28, 2004 22:08:09 GMT -5
Good one Mike
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Post by voyager on May 28, 2004 22:36:18 GMT -5
Sorry Oliver the thread was languishing so I figured what the heck, lets turn it into a joke thread
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